Multilingual Lock Door Sign

After a recent streak of office doors refusing to latch — apparently the doors have joined a labor union and are staging a slowdown — we had two options:

• Battle building management until the heat death of the universe, or
• Put up signs.

Obviously, we went with signs. At least signs show up for work.

So I whipped up a multilingual “Please shut the door” notice aimed at both our employees and the cleaning crew. Four languages, one mission: stop the door from emotionally freeloading.

About the translations

English: Written by me. I’ve been speaking it since forever, so accuracy should be somewhere between “solid” and “I meant to do that.”

Spanish & Polish: Generated by Google. If anything is wrong, blame the algorithm. It probably thinks “close the door” translates to “launch the door into orbit.” Who knows.

Elvish:
Ah yes, the fun one. There are several Elvish translators online, each with its own opinion on grammar, syntax, and the existence of magic. Getting a phrasing that could be translated was the hard part — after that, tossing it into Tengwar was easy-peasy.

Is it 100% accurate? Absolutely no idea.

But consider:

1. Only about 0.0001% of humans can read Tengwar anyway.
2. Actual Elves from Middle-earth rarely wander into corporate offices. (They prefer forests without flourescent lighting.)
3. If you somehow employ Hogwarts-style house-elves, they’re not using Quenya in the break room.

So… we’re fine.

Enjoy the sign, print it proudly, and may your doors finally do their one job.

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